What $35 Means To Me

$35

It’s not much.

For my birthday, back in May, my grandma gave me $35. And I still have it.

I don’t know what to do with it.

I know that sounds silly, but in my head, it represents so much more than just $35.

My grandma and I aren’t close. In my entire life, I think that’s only the second gift she has ever given me, so I feel like I should do something special with the money. But I don’t know what.

I could always get a pedicure, buy a new pair of shoes, or go to the movies, but I haven’t. I don’t know exactly what I’m saving that $35 for.

I’ve thought a lot about saving it until I am nearly credit card debt free and using it to pay off the rest of my credit card debt. I still think that’s a good idea, but it’s so far into the future.

I don’t know. I guess my thoughts here are, when is $35 more than $35?

To me, the value of the money is more than $35. And I don’t know why that is. Cash is not something I receive very often so I want to make sure and spend it wisely, I guess.

I want that $35 to mean something.

I want that $35 to be used for something tangible.

I want to be able to look back on that $35 and say, “I got ________________ with that”, or “I used that $35 for __________________”.

I want that $35 to matter.

And since I don’t know what to do with it, there it sits, on the bookshelf in my bedroom, underneath a stack of magazines.  I often forget about the money until I move the magazines and a $5, or $10, or $20 flutters out reminding me that it’s there.

Reminding me I haven’t made a decision.

Reminding me that sometimes $35 is more than $35.